Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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