Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
