11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
