Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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