I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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