I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
