I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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