But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
