if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
