At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
