you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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