she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
sex in a hospital.. check
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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