I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
