Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
