I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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