shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
