Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize