how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
