I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
