My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
