you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
