I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
