guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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