The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
