i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
