i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The power of my boobs compel you
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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