I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
