How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
