I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
