you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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