She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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