god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
