That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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