There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
