yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
