I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
