Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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