Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
