Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
