No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
