She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
