I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
