so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
