"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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