But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
