i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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