He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
