Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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