direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
