I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
