Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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