is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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