do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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