i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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