Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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