We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize