drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize