Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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