I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
