guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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