I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
