people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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