i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
