He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
