He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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